That would be my monkey's favorite expression. All day long he shouts that phrase at any opportune moment: stopped at a red light in the car, pushing a toy car, riding his rocket, getting up from the couch... You get the idea. It is adorably cute sometimes and just annoying at other times.
The thing about hearing this expression ad nauseam is that it makes me think about all the things I'm currently trying to get set so we can go. I'm getting our bags set so we can go to Disney World for our first vacation since the year before the monkey was conceived. I'm getting our lives set so we can move to Erie in 2 seemingly short months for my residency. I'm helping to get the hubby set for looking for a new job.
I'm ready to do things, and I'm desperately trying to get everything set, but for somethings I'm not sure if I'm ready for go. I'm definitely ready to go to Disney. We are all in need of this much longed for vacation. A time away from our worries (or at least from constantly worrying about our worries). A time away from our day-to-day routines that are starting to make the days blend together.
However, the job searching, house searching, moving searching has me scared to death. This is the biggest move I've done yet, which says something as I've moved 8 times in the past 10 years. And this time I have a toddler in tow as I move to an area I've only visited once and really don't know at all other than it has the job I want, good schools, and affordable housing. Oh, and a giant mall. Because you can take the Jersey mallrat out of Jersey, but you can't take the Jersey mallrat out of the girl. :-)
I think when I get back from vacation, I'll worry about the part where we goooooooo!
April 9, 2010
April 6, 2010
My life, my way
Ever since I was a little girl I had 2 goals in life:
My first goal (and the one that has taken up most of my life at this point) was to become a doctor. At 8 years old, when my friends wanted to be models/actresses/princesses, I wanted to be a doctor. Coming from a small town where college was more of an pipe dream than a common place occurrence, I was told from the start it would be near impossible. My parents encouraged me to pursue my dream, but told me quite honestly I would need scholarships to pay for college and medical school. They couldn't pay for it for me. So I worked hard in elementary school to get into the right public high school, then worked hard in high school to get a scholarship to the right college, and then worked even harder in college to get into medical school. And now, I'm a month away from seeing the completion of this goal. I've completed all the coursework, I've completed all the exams, and I've been accepted to residency. All I need is to show up for the ceremony and I will be a doctor.
My second goal was to become a mother. I always knew I would have children one day, it was not an option for me to imagine my life otherwise. Then, 3 years ago I found out I was quite unexpectedly pregnant. I was just starting my 3rd year of medical school and pregnancy/parenthood was not something I thought I was quite ready for yet. Yes, I was married already. Yes, we wanted children. But medical school and baby did not seem like compatible ideas to me. However, the second I saw the second blue line on the home pregnancy test, I knew I was in love already with someone I had never met. Now, that second blue line is a two year old boy with the cutest smile on the planet. Sometimes I think he is more monkey than little boy, but I love him for it.
How I survived 2 years of medical school as a new mother I will never really know. I always meant to journal it or record it somehow, but I never found the time. To me, it was just my life being lived in the only way I knew how.
I stand now on the cusp of graduation and seeing the completion of my life goals: a medical degree and motherhood. In 3 months, I begin my residency and my career as a psychiatrist. This time I plan on finding the time to record how I live my life in my way so when people ask how I find the time to raise a young child and do residency, I might have more of an answer.
My first goal (and the one that has taken up most of my life at this point) was to become a doctor. At 8 years old, when my friends wanted to be models/actresses/princesses, I wanted to be a doctor. Coming from a small town where college was more of an pipe dream than a common place occurrence, I was told from the start it would be near impossible. My parents encouraged me to pursue my dream, but told me quite honestly I would need scholarships to pay for college and medical school. They couldn't pay for it for me. So I worked hard in elementary school to get into the right public high school, then worked hard in high school to get a scholarship to the right college, and then worked even harder in college to get into medical school. And now, I'm a month away from seeing the completion of this goal. I've completed all the coursework, I've completed all the exams, and I've been accepted to residency. All I need is to show up for the ceremony and I will be a doctor.
My second goal was to become a mother. I always knew I would have children one day, it was not an option for me to imagine my life otherwise. Then, 3 years ago I found out I was quite unexpectedly pregnant. I was just starting my 3rd year of medical school and pregnancy/parenthood was not something I thought I was quite ready for yet. Yes, I was married already. Yes, we wanted children. But medical school and baby did not seem like compatible ideas to me. However, the second I saw the second blue line on the home pregnancy test, I knew I was in love already with someone I had never met. Now, that second blue line is a two year old boy with the cutest smile on the planet. Sometimes I think he is more monkey than little boy, but I love him for it.
How I survived 2 years of medical school as a new mother I will never really know. I always meant to journal it or record it somehow, but I never found the time. To me, it was just my life being lived in the only way I knew how.
I stand now on the cusp of graduation and seeing the completion of my life goals: a medical degree and motherhood. In 3 months, I begin my residency and my career as a psychiatrist. This time I plan on finding the time to record how I live my life in my way so when people ask how I find the time to raise a young child and do residency, I might have more of an answer.
